Guest Blog from David Haas (Fitness and Cancer)

Hey Folks, 


David Haas reached out to me to help spread the word about a few things that he has direct experience with and has tons of passion about. He's a cancer patient advocate who believes in helping people who are going through treatments and in remission. He believes in the subject of fitness because of the extensive research he has seen and the first hand knowledge that fitness and a healthy body can create a better lifestyle. He wrote this article that I am sharing today & his blog is http://haasblaag.blogspot.com/. 

Fitness and Cancer It stands to reason that someone who has been recently diagnosed any kind of cancer including common cancers such as breast cancer and skin cancer and even rare cancers like mesothelioma wouldn't want to spend a lot of time exercising. The shock of having been diagnosed with an often fatal disease combined with the sickness, pain and fatigue associated with said disease can all but destroy any motivation that one would have for remaining or becoming physically fit. Physical fitness is important for everybody, even those who are suffering from cancer. Recent studies have found that while a regular exercise regimen is by no means a miracle mesothelioma treatment or a cure for any other kind of cancer, it has helped aid the recovery and improved the prognosis of many cancer patients. Two of the most common and debilitating side effects of most traditional cancer treatments are fatigue and loss of muscle strength. Cancer treatments such as chemotherapy tend to make patients feel very fatigued, so naturally they do not want to spend a lot of time doing much of anything, let alone engage in any kind of exercise. The muscle weakness commonly experienced by cancer patients naturally results from this fatigue. As they are deprived of exercise, these patients also miss out on some of the benefits that come from being physically fit including improved sleep patterns, increased energy, decreased depression and a generally improved sense of wellbeing. In other words, exercise can help a cancer patient or cancer survivor get his or her life back.  One form of exercise that many experts suggest for cancer patients is lightweight training. It's already been established that many cancer treatments cause a weakness in the muscles, so a weight-training program has proven to be very beneficial for many patients undergoing chemotherapy or similar treatments. It is not recommended that anyone who is experiencing fatigue or muscle weakness attempt any rigorous weight training exercises, but there are plenty of light exercises that can be done that will still help to build lean muscle mass and improve the overall fitness of cancer survivors.  The American Cancer Society has become so convinced by the benefits of exercise for cancer patients that they have implemented moderate exercise programs for patients who have been newly diagnosed with cancer. These exercise programs can technically be considered palliative therapy, which means that while they will not cure or treat the cancer directly they will at least improve the symptoms of the disease or treatment.

Thanks a bunch David, so glad I can help spread the word for you; I really dig the message. Guess what Boulder, Colorado looks like these days:

Kicked by Senor Perspective

That John Denver guy.........really knew what he was talking about. Thanks to an interesting combo of Punkus Uncus and an amazing trip to New Zealand, spring of 2010 wasn’t my typical routine in Colorado. While I wouldn’t change a thing about last year, springtime here truly can’t be beat and I’m pumped to enjoy what this year’s season has in store. I would say spring is only slightly beaten out by fall as my favorite season and it’s taken me a few years to have enough gear to pull it off, but snowboarding Breckenridge followed by a single-track mountain bike ride in Boulder the next day, followed by a relaxing day with the fly rod; all within the same week, is simply one of the main reasons I live here.

Spring also allows for great outdoor training and stuffy gyms can usually be avoided. That was the situation a few weeks back when by buddy and I were taking a run up Mt. Sanitas to prepare for our Moab Adventure Race. The week before, he had told me about his friend that just pulled the trigger on a big life change; quitting his job and buying a one-way ticket to New Zealand with his wife. Their plan; travel, live, enjoy....repeat; maybe come back in a year. I’ve been told a few times that my writing is always optimistic and sometimes I live in an “everything is perfect” world. Well, here’s a snapshot of the other side of reality. [Side note, I mention ‘other side of reality’ because when I’m told I don’t live in reality based on optimistic viewpoints, my thought is “happiness, positivity, enjoyment, laughter and joy aren’t real life too?] When thinking about this guy’s plan, I can only explain what I was feeling as complete joy for him and his wife, and an internal jolt of jealousy. This was literally the first time Punkus Uncus has driven a sense of jealousy in me based on potential limitations of having to deal with a serious medical challenge. I kept thinking; “man, if I didn’t have to deal with all this brain stuff; that would totally be me flying off to another country and enjoying the ride”. Fast forward to our day on Sanitas, before we start the run my buddy tells me “You know that guy I told you about that is going to New Zealand, let’s run for him today; he died in an accident just before leaving.....”. Perspective can be painful. Having the correct perspective on life has been a focus for me over the last year and I’ve written about it several times. I tell this story only as a reminder to myself that no matter how much I can talk about perspective, sometimes I need a kick in the butt to truly feel and understand it. For some reason greener pastures is something we all deal with from time to time. Something Brad Stevens (coach for Butler) said that I will always remember: When wondering if there is something better out there all I can do is realize that I don’t know for sure it’s good on the other side but I can guarantee it’s good in my life now, I stay focused on that.. 

Anywho; since focusing the majority of my time on Outdoor Mindset, I’ve had several conversations with people affected by neurological challenges. Many of which are signing up to be Guides and Travelers as part of our Guide Program. Without getting into specifics, one of these conversations was exactly what I needed to validate that OM is headed in the right direction and I’m exactly where I should be right now in my life. As they talked through their thoughts, fears, questions and even optimism of a new diagnosis; I truly felt like I was listening to a replay of my journey last year. So many of the questions and fears were tied to wanting to connect with someone that has been in their position and wanting to believe they could continue an active and outdoor way of life despite this new challenge. Being that our Guide Program is built around serving those concerns; at that moment in my life, I knew through all of the tough decisions over the last year, there was no question that I made the right move. No question. 1996 bronco and all.....

Well, we made it through the Moab Adventure Race and couldn’t be happier with our time and how everyone did throughout the race. Our main goal was to have fun, enjoy the ride and finish! We expected to complete the race around 8 hours and came in around 6.45 hrs; so we we’re obviously pumped about the results. Our fearless leader Chris quietly and modestly had us prepared for everything that we encountered. Here are a few shots, don’t you love spandex?

Team OM Moab Adventure Race

Butt shot for a sponsor shout-out

Don't look down....oops

The Rappel was sick!

I’m not a big fan of calling things part of my “bucket list”. What happens when you hit the bottom of your bucket and you’re still livin'? Whatever the list is called, the Moab race was definitely one of my life goals; but in my weird world, this is how my lists work: Moab Adventure Race; check, remove from list. Notice open spot on list, scribble in Buena Vista Adventure Race (May) and get to work....here we go again.

Finally, my neuro-ophthalmologist appointment didn’t happen this week. I was 30 minutes late because of traffic and now I’m back on the waiting list to see this new doc. A lot of people have asked about insurance, so I thought I would drop a shout-out to my health insurance set up. 

Question: What do you get when this country’s health care isn’t set up to cover people that need health care (aka have a punkus uncus) and quit their job to take a year off and work for a non-profit? 

Answer: A declination letter from all major health insurance companies, a stressed out mom........and an acceptance letter along with a discounted premium from an awesome company local to Colorado (https://www.covercolorado.org/). Another reason I’m lucky to be in this great state.

My last post talked about booking a quick trip to Mexico. I’ll have to admit that I didn’t actually buy a ticket to Mexico......Costa Rica sounded more my style this month. I’m finally getting to Central America. I’ll drop a note while I’m there with a few pics. It’s time to get away, hang with close friends and force myself to find boredom:

"Your true traveller finds boredom rather agreeable than painful. It is the symbol of his liberty - his excessive freedom. He accepts his boredom, when it comes, not merely philosophically, but almost with pleasure." - Aldous Huxley

Team Outdoor Mindset Goes to Moab

Dropping a few paragraphs about our upcoming Adventure Race in Moab for the Outdoor Mindset blog:

http://blog.outdoormindset.org/2011/03/team-outdoor-mindset-goes-to-moab.html

Ever since I went to the race as a supporter in 2004 or so, I've wanted to compete. Thanks to OM and my buddy Chris Boyd for leading us in the right direction; I'll train and complete one of my "life list" items; and have a blast doing with great friends.

Oh yeah; my brain is still functioning (as much as I allow it to), I have a neuro opthamologist appointment next month to talk about Punkus Uncus and my eyes, and the training routine for the race has my body feeling really good. So...we're doing great, me and PU that is.

It's been almost a year since our New Zealand trip and the traveler's addiction has crept up on me; I think I'll book a plane ticket to the desert of Mexico this week. I welcome you to do something equally "crazy" asap (I  think it will be the most sane thing I do this week).

Much love,

- KM

Better 'cause of the Blues...

A quick snapshot of my last month....or so:

Rooster Roundup in Dalhart Texas
This annual pheasant hunt is a great time with college buddies in the panhandle of West Texas and always a reminder that stunning sunsets don’t always have mountains in the background; no matter how long it’s been since you’ve seen them, good buddies remain solid friends throughout the years; and sometimes, my love for the outdoors isn’t limited to single-tracks or powder runs as a walk through a corn field holding a shotgun can be just as therapeutic.

Cutty
My first summer in Colorado was in 2001 and I’ll never forget seeing a Golden Retriever puppy, probably for the first time. A fluff ball, always eager to please, loyal and smart; I knew I would some day have one. Over the last year I struggled with the idea of having a dog. Simplicity? Money Saving? Not so much. However, knowing that this year I’ll have the rare opportunity to spend everyday with him, be encouraged to get outside and stay active with a hike or game of fetch and the opportunity to truly understand what it means to have “a man’s best friend” had me pulling the trigger on picking this guy up. Obviously he’ll be pouncing (he’s a pouncer) in this blog.

Week with Jake

It was last December that I first learned of Jake’s epilepsy. As the story goes, we discussed the idea of Outdoor Mindset at a local coffee shop and he told me all about his experience with Epilepsy. I’ve said time and time again that I’m fortunate to have so many positive things cross my path these days and this is no exception. The week before he had surgery (check out blog.outdoormindset.org for awesome details), we spent classic time in the back-country, crashing at a Summit Hut, snapping photos for an OM Texas Techsan article and having some of the best powder days of my life with him. He’s often thanked so many of his friends and family that helped him through the surgery, but see; this is where the story changes; there is no doubt in my mind that I am the one blessed to have such a great friend. It’s humbling and a true honor to be involved with this life-changing decision that he made and I can say with no hesitation that maybe, just maybe I was given this opportunity to now see how someone of such great character handles this challenging experience in that I can find hope and feel inspiration for whatever the future holds for me.

Last day at Vail
More than I expected, my last few days with Vail Resorts were tough; as it was hard to leave a great company and such great friends. While I know many of these friendships will last a lifetime, it was awakening to quickly realize that the majority of my life over the last 8 years had been spent with my friends at VR compared to anyone else in my life. These daily moments will be truly missed...

6-month MRI
Anticipation was a little more intense this go-round. It had been a full year since my first scan and deep down I expected if Punkus Uncus was growing, we would definitely see something on this scan. I also have been noticing more frequent symptoms of numbness, fatigue, “out of it” feelings and vision-focus challenges reoccurring lately. However, we definitely got the news that we wanted; no changes in the lesion, physical exam checked out....keep rollin’ and come back in 9 months. Bam! We increased my medication (Keppra) dosage to confront the symptoms which is typical for my situation. I guess most people in this situation (I'm not the only one?? ha.) move around their meds quite a bit before finding the perfect fit. Sounds a bit like pin the tail on the donkey to me; but I’m not a brain doctor and I trust these guys. Long story short (one of my favorite phrases btw), we’re still on the “Monitor & Medicate” trail of this Punkus Uncus hike and I feel so fortunate to be able to walk out of these doctor visits with an encouraging report.

The Blues
As I left the hospital after a visit to Jake, carrying Punkus Uncus like a chip on my shoulder, now worried about my buddy going under the knife and anxious about what lies ahead for Outdoor Mindset; I shared the elevator with a 60 something lady wearing the coolest, most outrageous hat ever. She immediately started up conversation about how long it will take her to catch the bus home, how much the bus costs these days, etc. Right before I gave a nod of the head and wished her well, I could sense she wanted to tell me more. I took a couple of steps back and asked; are you going to make it home okay? Her response goes something like this:

“Oh son, thanks so much for asking. While we have much to complain about, there also lies so much happiness. Last night I found a package on my back porch with get-well gifts including a large supply of bus passes. I’m set for a while..you see, there are angels surrounding us and I’ve been lucky enough to be blessed by a handful of them. Angles come in many forms..”

I told her that I agreed and it was such a pleasure to meet her, then wished her a healthy holiday. Here’s the kicker response back:

“Healthy....ah, I’m very happy and fortunate; but after I go home, I’ll then head to the club to sing the blues. For people must experience the unfortunate, the pain and the troubles to truly enjoy the good..”

She followed that with about 30 seconds of a blues song, winked and walked away. Yep; me, some 60 yr. old lady in the lobby of the hospital and she’s singing me the blues.

I’m not sure I’ll encounter another difficult challenge in my life where I don’t hear her voice singing the blues with my version of her song: “people must experience the unfortunate, the pain and the troubles to truly enjoy the good..”

Looking back & thanks...

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone reading these blog posts.....all three of you. Knowing that at least 2 out of 3 of you probably read our Outdoor Mindset blog as well as this one; I figured I wouldn't double up this month.

Check out the OM blog for my latest... Long story short, there is so much I'm thankful for it was really hard to sum it up. If that sounds boring, I guarantee there is an outhouse prank video that will crack you up.

http://blog.outdoormindset.org/2010/11/muchos-gracias.html

Hope everyone is having a great holiday week.

Much love... KM

Wandering

Vail Resorts and I are breaking up. Dramatic, yep; some truth, absolutely. The last couple of months have been full of movement and it’s now more apparent than ever that I’m addicted to change. Some find comfort in routine, others not so much.

On a recent trip to Yellowstone, I realized two things: (1) I’m more at home on the road wondering what the next move holds than I am while following a daily routine of breakfast, commute to work, officle (cube/office) hours, commute home, cook dinner, watch movie, sleep. (2) Sometimes I think too much.   The first topic is easy; when I returned from Europe in 2002, I knew I had found an internal peace that came from simplification, perspective and appreciation. While the last several years have been undoubtedly awesome, I slowly felt as though I was moving further away from that internal realization and closer to routine minutiae that didn’t feel right. The thinking topic is simply a welcomed curse; point in case: When watching the sunrise come up over Old Faithful; as it exploded water into the air, I heard church music, angels singing and felt as though somehow the world was telling me something. Then I turned around and realized that the 1980s cd player had been started by the Lodge’s Sunday preacher and the make-shift congregation of about 12 people were singing an opening hymn. Yep, instead of signs from heaven; I happened to be watching Old Faithful at the same time the Lodge had it’s weekly service on the deck. Or was it a sign that I was there at that exact moment and for a split second was fortunate enough to think it was all for a purpose......still thinking. Welcome to my brain.

Back to my job. I have to believe that one would be hard pressed to find an organization that has given more to someone than what Vail Resorts has done for me. From a ski bum bus driver in 2002 to currently a great job at the Corporate office; opportunity has been the theme. I’ve built lasting friendships, found passion in the outdoors, developed a career in the Talent Management space, learned tons and been fortunate enough to have a day job that some would consider a vacation. With that said; what the hell? Why would I move away from something so good? I’ve decided to focus my efforts on a few things slightly different; more creative, empowering and giving. We’ve made great strides with Outdoor Mindset; building the mission, 2/3 year strategic plan, board of directors, programs, 501(c)(3) status, etc; however we’re officially a few steps away from full operations mode and it’s obvious there is a need for someone to dedicate the majority of their time to our mission. We hope to hire at least one full time employee (Executive Director) next year; but we’re not quite there on the $$ front. So, starting in December I’ll be dedicating at least the next year to OM. The goal is to fill the shoes of the ED position on an interim basis until we can hire this role on staff. Most of my time will be focused on building partnerships with non-profit, medical and community organizations; developing awareness around our mission, keeping our strategic plan on task, building a growing database of Guides that will act as mentors to newly-diagnosed folks and their supporters and reaching out to newly-diagnosed individuals that are seeking support and embrace our vision. The choice to make a change was a big step, but now I’m in full swing and the excitement from opportunity is apparent. If you’re curious, tactical details of pulling this off are being worked out: sold my 4Runner and bought a 1996 Ford Bronco (saweet), renting my Breckenridge place out for the year, health insurance is being organized, I’m officially on a budget (ouch) and my Boulder pad is becoming my home office. I’ll continue to stay tuned into the Talent Management industry and will pick up contract and/or consulting gigs when needed; but my ultimate goal is to be 100% focused to OM. The next year will be about Outdoor Mindset, my health (if I want to see a doctor on Wednesday and ride my bike on a Thursday, it’s on) and making the most of every day.

Brain tumor.30 years old.Quit My Job.Sold My Car.Start a Non Profit.Travel.Live It Up.  Cliche’? Maybe. Right now , me being the most in tune to what I should be doing with my life. Absolutely. It’s so cliche’ to not be cliche’ anyway; ya know.

I took a few months off from the blogosphere, but plan to keep writing and track this journey; I'm sure the normal magazine bathroom reading was getting boring anyway, hopefully I can spice things up again in the throne for ya with these posts.

Anyway, sometimes if just feels good to Wander. Listen to The Wandering by Bingham to know what I mean...

Just Choose

July came and went and with it; my 4 month MRI doc appointment is done. First things first, the scan de brain this month showed no change compared to all previous images. Great news for sure and we now have a pretty steady trail of pics to monitor. The course stays the same, monitor how Punkus Uncus affects me and come back in 6 months for another scan. What a rollercoaster it’s been from last November being told “Get ready to get that head cut open soon” to “Live it up and come back in 6 months”. We used this visit as an opportunity to hammer out a few big questions that haven’t always been clear in the past. Main ones included:

If things do change can surgery fix it?
Answer – “Our first priority is ‘Do no harm’. If we have to go into this portion of the brain, we’ll hurt you.”  Okay…writing on the wall, they are not exactly calling this guy inoperable, but let’s be honest; if the doc doesn’t want to do surgery, we don’t want surgery. That pretty much sums it up. Cross that bridge if we ever come to it; but for now, I truly appreciate, trust and support their approach.

Okay doc, so if we’re just hanging out talking about brain tumors and not doing much; what’s the scoop, give me a goal. What should I be doing?
Answer – “You’ve already subscribed to positive lifestyle changes, keep doing it. Across all cases, there is an obvious delineation between folks that do well in situations like yours and those that don’t. The majority of those that do well choose to make lifestyle changes including healthy eating, exercise, mental focus and reduction in stress. The others, keep doing what many of us are used to doing; working 60 hour weeks, eating fast food loaded with crap, smoking 2 packs a day, couch loungin’, etc.” So, I’ll continue my path to focus on a better lifestyle while actually attempting to train my right brain to step up to the place; just in case. Seriously, as I thought about this approach while driving home I passed 4 to 5 construction signs that said “Keep Right”, “No Left Turn”. Okay, I get it. I’ll be writing more with my left hand, when trying to remember something I’ll tell myself to store that in the right bank - slot #2 and I’ll track down other ways to get ol’ righty to start working out more. Suggestions?

We saw Dr. Lillehei’s assistant this time and he’s a nice addition to the team. Yep…we’re building a team, thanks for asking. He definitely has a cool vibe; extremely intelligent, patient, thorough, calm….all those things that you’re supposed to love in a doctor; but what I’m really stoked about is that he races mountain bikes and will be riding the Leadville 100 in a few weeks. He seems to believe in a few things that are core to my plan of attack revolved around my ability to control, own and face this challenge internally and focus on success and healing.

Somehow we convinced ourselves that this 4th of July was better spent on top of mountain doing strategic planning for Outdoor Mindset compared to on top of a keg binge drinking. While the latter has it’s place and definitely is the reason for great college memories, the strategic planning was everything is could and should have been. We’ll have the website updated soon with details, but the road ahead is bright and full of challenges.



Leading up to my last MRI, somehow I tend to avoid being anxious; but it’s very obvious to me that the weeks, days and hours before these doc trips everything seems to become more meaningful. The fear of the unknown future attempts to terrify; however I try to flip this concept on its head and believe the fear of the unknown allows me to embrace the present. Not a mastered science by any means, but a welcomed internal challenge no less. It helps when 12 great friends spend the 2 days pre-MRI in my favorite Colorado spot; Pitkin Lake in the Gore Range.






The next few weeks include a trip to Yellowstone, two mountain bike races, backpacking and fishing in Rocky Mountain National Park and ya know…eating, sleeping, sticky notes, emails, dinners with friends, etc.  Along side of those things, somehow this f’ed up brain of mine has another need and vision for change. Change that supports things that I hold close to me; experiences, giving, spirit, love, family and friends, health, success and others. Change that encourages me to have an answer for the 4 questions that I try to ask myself every day: Who did I help? Who did I make laugh? Who did I inspire? What did I experience?

For me, change is easy…all you have to do is Choose. While many think its crazy talk (and they are probably right) that I consider the Choice as the biggest and easiest thing to accomplish and the other stuff is just details; the fire in my gut says otherwise… More to come on things that I’ve decided to surround myself with; however at least Big Will has my back….in a sort of esoteric, metaphysical, hard to explain sort of way... Welcome to the wild wild west…

Nervous Waters

Have you ever noticed when you and a buddy are on a trip together, there tends to be a theme of the trip?  Maybe this is just to keep the conversation going, or maybe it’s a sign of things to come. While fly fishing off the coast last weekend, my buddy and I joked about having the passion to do things you love….are you at work/on vacation/with friends/with family/playing sports/watching tv/etc. for the money, addiction, necessity, stability, routine, and complacency or are you doing these things because you’re driven by a passion and love for them.  Mind you, a couple of Texas dudes philosophizing on a open road with a Jetta packed full of fishing gear isn’t exactly Plato; but maybe just the conversation is enough. The conversation around the urge to question, to continue searching for explanation and the drive to never settle for “just because” or “it’s good enough”… For me, this topic transcends across so many topics from God to microwaves. I’m sure we beat the conversation to death, even asking random bartenders if they are in it for the passion; and at times I know my co-pilot was thinking “Shut the hell up and pass the trail mix”. But for me…what is a trip without these topics, without something to look back on 20 years later, look at a buddy, say the word passion in a Belushi sort of way and feel the meaning behind it.

Part of salt water fly fishing is to keep an eye out for Nervous Waters, sometimes meaning nothing more than a wrinkle of water ahead that identifies a big fish; at other times, it’s a swirl of activity with schools of fish running wild with their tails above water.  Basically, it’s a hunt for inconsistent water that usually proves to yield a great return, in this case a 20 inch red fish.  As you approach nervous water, the excitement flows up from your toes, adrenaline surges and you know if you approach the situation correctly and overcome being tentative; and somehow drop the fly in the exact right spot, something big will end up on the end of your line.

Because I’m addicted to metaphors and anything else dorky that inspires me to live big; I couldn’t help but notice how perfect things align here.  I’ve searched for something bigger for years, and now in the midst of uncertainty with my own health and what the future holds; I can see the nervous water ahead and know it has the potential to hold something great. Essentially, it’s a search for unstable, anxious and nervous activity/adventure/conversations/travel/days/new projects that have potential to provide great opportunity. A few positive outcomes have already surfaced, but this is truly just the beginning. I know it in my gut…I know it my soul. I’ve quickly realized that while I’m sure many challenges await; one that I can control is top of mind. How can I harness perspective and appreciation that has recently knocked at the front door without falling back into the routine of life? Basically, how do I keep from losing what I’ve found? This is my personal challenge and I welcome it and will not lose focus. *Disclaimer – To friends and family, this will be my constant reason for any crazy, unstable, sketchy, flaky, hippy, loose cannon behavior (i.e. travels, tree hugging, organic eating, mid week fly fishing, mountain bike wheelies and new ventures, etc.). With a strong emphasis on “etc”

What’s going on with this noggin’ of mine?  My next MRI is July 26^th and we’ll see if anything new is on the horizon.  Honestly, I feel better now than I did in November which seems like a good sign. I’ve been focused, but not compulsive, on healthy eating and Life has moved forward as it does and I attempt (not always succeeding) to concentrate on those parts of life with the most meaning. Don’t get me wrong, that doesn’t mean I’m always on the front deck of my house drinking green tea and doing yoga while the sun sets and the deer run across the hills. While that disgusting image that I’ve just painted is a part of my life these days, even more so are the very real portions that I enjoy as well. Most recently coming in the form of a house-warming BBQ at our new crib in the western hills of Boulder, an annual Cornhole Tournament (bean-bag toss), a new addiction to mountain bike racing, finally getting a few horses up to Colorado, mid-week softball games with new found friends, Texas coastal parties with ol’ college buddies, saltwater fly fishing and a family wedding in Dallas.  As someone mentioned to me at the wedding; the family only truly gets together for funerals and weddings. Lucky for us, this go-round was a wedding.  No longer do I take for granted being surrounded by a close, humorous and loving family especially at weddings where my cuz is the groomsman, my niece is the flower girl and my uncle is the preacher. The party after isn’t too shabby either. Nope, I’m not drinking; but I still reap the benefits of others boozing. Let’s be honest, sometimes the party just gets a little more fun when booze is around.

As the fourth of July approaches, I have the privilege to be with the Outdoor Mindset board of directors for our first retreat spending it in the backcountry building our 3 year organizational strategy. Here’s the hut that we’ll be staying at for the weekend:

As I look back 7 months, thinking about the morning where I woke up with a very distinct vision of change; what’s been accomplished brings great pride and responsibility. Above and beyond, we’ve only begun to make a difference and we know there is much, much more to accomplish and the passion we have for this effort is unmatched. 

To nervous water and seeing the opportunity.

KM

New Travel Mode

While my pals have written about our New Zealand trip, and the Outdoor Mindset crew has written about what we’re doing on the non-profit front; it’s been a month since my last post. Unbeknownst to me, during a great dinner with an amazing friend last week; we also realized it had been exactly 6 months since the doc saw Punkus Uncus chillin in my head. Not sure if we celebrated or just reflected, but it’s truly amazing how challenging yet awesome and successful that time has been. Honestly, it’s felt a bit like six years instead of six months and I know many of you feel the same way; and for that I continue to be grateful.

New Zealand….Once just an unchecked item on my travel list, it quickly turned into a trip of a lifetime with so many purposes: exploration, shared experiences, exposure, inspiration, healing, vacation, new friendships and fulfillment of an urge to dominate against hindrance. The urge to dominate against hindrance lives in so many conversations for me these days, but one circumstance after my last doctor appointment is a related lasting image. As I walked out of my Neuro office (wtf, I have a Neuro office), I crossed paths with a mom and son hanging in the parking lot. This boy (maybe 5 yrs. old) was strapped to his mom’s stroller by a harness like a pet. As he and I connected eyes, for some reason he busted into a full sprint towards me. About 10 feet from me, he reached the end of the line….snap…..he was flat on his back in the parking lot. Obviously I asked if he was okay, then laughed really hard. His mom literally gave him a look like “Seriously, again?” I’m not sure why this connected a few dots, but immediately I found coincidence in the fact that he knew something was limiting his ability and he was driven to battle against it and prove limits are worthless. As I thought about my doc explaining my own potential limitations, then focused on my day ahead full of New Zealand planning and a Board Meeting created to build an organization around inspiring others to push their limits while connecting with those in the same mindset; it took everything I had not to high-five the kid while he was getting yelled at by his mom.

While I won’t replay the New Zealand trip as I know many of you have (or can) check out the details at Tramping For Treatment, there is definitely a perspective I would like to share which revolves around somewhat of a shift of travel mode for me. Without sounding too simplistic, the trip lived up to every expectation. As you can imagine a 35 mile hike including a high alpine ridgeline in crazy weather, a 450 foot bungee jump, remote beach camping and luxury ‘Real World’ style house lounging with 9 of my great friends is no doubt one of the coolest trips I've done. Without minimizing how great those events were, I can truly say the experience of doing the whole thing together with one van and multiple personalities (more than 10 but I’m not calling anyone out) was new to my travel style and was the highlight. Previously my travel experiences have been all about: research, exploring, seeing everything, checking off lists, understanding cultures (Europe); inner understanding, solitude, new relationships, out of comfort level experiences, reflection (Thailand, Peru, Baja). Thanks to those experiences I’ve seen great and interesting places; and now understand that once solitude moves from loneliness, to being content, to inner focus and outward understanding, the traveler finds addiction…and it’s a good addiction. However, new to me was the travel mode of experiencing things with loved ones first and foremost; above any sight seeing, sports to try, beers to drink, mountains to climb or fish to land. The focus was on driving conversation, building stronger connections, opening eyes and making memories. New Zealand was absolutely about adventure and included such, but my personal satisfaction came from sharing those moments with those close to me. Now don’t get the wrong idea, if those situations didn’t include constant jokes, drinking booze, making fun of each other, mini-van karaoke, adventure sports, being outdoors, funny bickering, etc; it might be a different story. However, I knew the crew that was going and there was no chance of that…So, while in the past this might have been my highlight video:



The shift in travel mode shines the light on something more meaningful:



We explored….and we absolutely enjoyed….Oh yeah, I mentioned traveler addiction; that remains. More to come on a Spain/Morocco trip this fall. Sorry if you’re reading this boss man, but can I have two weeks off in October? Thanks.

Oh yeah, the brain is goodish. Next appointment in July, medicine is helping most of the symptoms, biking season is here, hit the slopes for a few runs last week, work is good, we’re in a new Boulder house, horses are on the way this summer..yada yada yada. This day-to-day stuff is just so boring these days.

Unless you’re a couple of buddies that I know, bathroom time is running up so I’ll cut this one short and save the next post for more information on our non-profit organization. Until then, we would be honored if you took the time to check us out. How lucky we are to have a team of such great people to pull this off in such a short time frame.  That said....the work has just begun:

Outdoor Mindset

Mission: To unite and inspire people affected by neurological challenges to live big through a common passion for outdoor adventure.

Website: http://www.outdoormindset.org/
Blog: blog.outdoormindset.org
Facebook: Outdoor Mindset
Twitter: @OutdoorMindset


Primo


KM

Livin' Big in New Zealand

Just a quick post to keep everyone in the loop while we're here in New Zealand.  We're capturing this trip with full commentary and pics in a separate blog; check it out:

http://www.trampingfortreatment.blogspot.com/

What a trip it's been for me so far. I'm keeping track of the experiences, affects they are having on me and somewhat of a change in travel mode that I'll write about when I return.

Loving life....

Hope everyone is great and knows what day/time it is and is keeping up with the news; 'cause I'm definitely not!

Exploring and enjoying...

KM

New Zealand...bam.

Running around, trying to pack a few hours before we leave and on the blackberry cause we're short of internet in this new pad of ours. My pal Jill summed it all up for me; here ya go:

http://bit.ly/8Yyk9N

Explore and enjoy.....its on!

- KM

Amygdala Junkie

Kia ora….33 days to New Zealand.

It’s been a few weeks since my last MRI and basically; we received the best news possible in a not so good situation. Make sense?  March 8th was the MRI and the ambiguity surrounding that day was pretty crazy.  Looking back, it’s only been 4 months since my first MRI; however I feel like it’s been 4 years.  I know many of you can attest to that as well, so thanks again for everything. Leading up to the 3/8 doc appointment I was able to spend some time with a new friend.  It’s been 16 years since she had brain surgery to remove a tumor in her temporal lobe, she grew up in Texas, went to Tech and recruits for a living….anyone else pick up on the coincidence? The kicker, she’s healthy and just landed her ‘dream job’.  With this new connection being added to the inspiration bucket, the support of my family and friends and a personal belief in Punkus Uncus domination; I felt pretty confident going into the doc’s office to review my MRI.  After a chill weekend with friends and family that delivered a present day ‘happy place’; the MRI was a breeze.  Edward Sharpe and a bench on Pearl in Boulder on the mind always helps… New this time, there was a double mirror that allowed me to see out of the tunnel, past my feet and into the imaging room where the hospital staff was processing my images.  Most of the 40 mins or so the staff was cracking up and looked to be talking about what they had for breakfast, telling bad jokes, etc.  Wondering if they were playing Rock-Paper-Scissors on where the Punkus Uncus would land on the screen, when they came back into the room to pump the contrast into the iv, I had to ask what joke I was missing.  In somewhat of an embarrassed tone, she said “Oh, we were just laughing at how many patients sit in the waiting room and help ‘diagnose’ and advise others that are getting ready to hit the MRI room.  I still don’t know whether I was relieved that they weren’t laughing at the Punkus Uncus gambling odds, or surprisingly awaken that their life was moving forward ‘status quo’ with small office jokes and the world didn’t stop just because I was laying in a tunnel with a big magnet moving atoms around in my head.  A constant reminder that so much of this world, even my situation; is bigger than little ol’ me.

Within hours, we were in front of Dr. Lillehei as he pulled up the images on the computer...another sign that we’re in the right place with the right doctors.  The short of it; as he expected, no major changes were apparent, physical evaluations are status quo, he patiently and candidly answered our questions and said “See you in 4 months!”.  I’ve discussed this with many of you; but yes, I’m not ecstatic that jumping in and attacking this Uncus isn’t exactly an option right now; but we’ve done the research, reviewed multiple opinions and made a decision to stay the course. While we continue to be diligent with pro-action, it is the right decision and things are looking pretty good for this plan of Watch and Wait; or as I consider it – Watch and Live. L-I-V-I-N. Bam…

For those terrified of awkward elevator conversations, here’s one that went down directly after we left the doctor’s office:

Me: We feeling good? What’s everything thinking?
Dad: Good news, feeling good.
Bro: Yep, feeling good.
Mom: Feeling good for sure, let’s make sure we’re still reviewing all opinions/options/etc.
Me: Sounds good, what do you think? (as I look to the random dude sharing the elevator with us trying to hide in the corner)
Random Dude: {Speechless}

As the official MRI report rolled in the next day, yet another word hit the page: “Stable lesion present within the left Amygdala most consistent with a DNET tumor.”

Stable = Good
Amygdala = Ummmm….okay, back to Google.

Keeping the hope that this blog remains bathroom reading for some, I thought I would use a quick instructional video to demonstrate:



Hmmm…..things continue to make more and more sense.  We’ve always thought that I was just a regular adrenaline junkie; looks like I’m an official Amygdala Junkie.  Did I mention…33 days to New Zealand.

Over this past weekend, we successfully rounded up a crew (some from Texas, a couple from Tennessee, some here in Colorado and one from California).  Remembering old times, forming new friendships and living big with new memories was the theme.  You may be tired of reading it; but I’ll never be sick of telling everyone how lucky I am to have amazing friends and family.

Hope everyone is great and gets a fat check from the IRS.

Kia ora..

KM

The So What

I recently heard someone say:

“All of the situations, excuses and reasons of what is or has been should be called the ‘So What’.”

Acknowledge the reality, then answer the true question: ‘So What’ are you going to do now?”

I have written and talked about so many coincidences, random occurrences and ‘ah ha’ moments that have come my way in the last three months that many of my friends and family have heard me reference what I coin the 4Runner Occurrence. Basically, believe it our not; when I drove off the car lot a year and a half ago with my new 4Runner (well, new to me) every single person on the highway that day decided to drive their 4Runner. Seriously, 4Runner sales must have been out of control that day. What I obviously realized was that those cars had always been there and I was just paying attention.

Learning from that experience, I can’t rightfully think that just because a picture of my brain shows something funky; all of sudden opportunities are arising. My viewpoint? I would like to believe that positive thoughts, gratitude and enjoyment of life enact the law of attraction bringing these amazing things my way and I continue to pay attention and throw in a bit of law of action that has started a trickle down affect of…..awesomeness. That’s a medical term.

Sometimes everything isn’t awesome; but the beauty is that even those moments, those days; there is an inner passion that drives me to believe those instances should be and are the minority. It’s hard to explain, but the key is that complacency is always absent in moments of negativity, sadness or anger.

With that said…we’ve chosen our bungee jump site in New Zealand; what do you think will be going through my Brain (he deserves to be capitalized these days) when I launch myself off this guy:

Many have asked my perception of the waiting game as we creep up on the doctor appointment on Monday, March 8th. Simply, two things must and will be a focus:

- The situation will become what we think it is. Meaning one way or another; there will be opportunity to see negativity and concentrate on what we don’t want, or there will be an opportunity to embrace what is good, loving and positive. The later of which is not always easily found, but will be a constant driver for everything we do that day. Fordism is a term for the mass production of large numbers of inexpensive automobiles using the assembly line, coupled with high wages for workers. However, I recently heard a quote that I think should be the true meaning of Fordism: “Whether you think you can or you can’t, either way you are right” – Henry Ford.

- The second, less dramatic focus is that of the ‘So What’. I’ll probably sing some Robert Earl Keen song in the shower that morning, wear my favorite pair of striped underwear (thanks for asking), pull my jeans over my boots and start (and end) the day thankful for amazing friends, family and experiences. What happens after that is all about the ‘So What’...

Belief in what can and should be for this situation and life in general is visualized every day and I truly think it will make a difference.

"Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step." – MLK

"If the human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we couldn't" - Emerson Pugh

KM

Hippo

Other than work and day-to-day life, the last few weeks have been pretty normal. Well, except for a doc. appointment with my new Neurologist, a collision with Vail mountain resulting in a separated shoulder, a confirmed booking for our New Zealand flights (oh snap) and a personal letter from Mayo Clinic stating 'You're brain is officially busted' (It goes something like that...).

My appointment with Dr. Laura Strom, my new Neurologist went really well and it was great having my parents around to join me. Essentially, she confirmed the diagnosis and plans for next steps which includes monitoring symptoms for signs that they are possibly results of some type of seizure activity, review the next scan on March 8th and decide on actions needed (if any) at that point. We're lucky to have her along for the ride as it's apparent that she is extremely intelligent, has tons of experience and is respected in the medical field. Comforting to me, there is an obvious positive relationship between her and Dr. Lillehei. She spent over an hour with us and asked tons of questions, answered all of our questions and even dropped a discussion starter around the research of Norman Geschwind. Wikipedia holds more info if you're interested, but essentially she mentioned that some people affected by an abnormality in this portion of the brain tend to track, write and detail all parts of their journey. As I handed her my 25 page medical log, envisioned writing on this blog about the appointment and tweeted about how it all went down; I thought to myself "This Geschwind dude has no idea what he's talking about...".

You've probably noticed the common theme that I'm convinced as long as I'm proactive about modern medicine, eat healthy and stay active; this Uncus has no chance and I'll remain in good health. Well, I'm still convinced that the Uncus is in a losing battle; however the healthy portion is all about perspective. For example, one might say; if you separate your AC joint (clavicle) on Vail Mountain, you're not exactly healthy. Yep, that happened a few weekends ago. My perspective, brain healing via humor sometimes overrides a busted shoulder. So, if I wouldn't have collided with Vail Mountain, separated my shoulder and ended up at the Emergency Room, this conversation would have never happened:

Nurse: "Other than your shoulder, it looks like you're a pretty healthy guy"

Me while smiling at a friend: "For sure, other than the fact that I have half a thumb on my left hand and a few months ago a doctor told me that I had a brain tumor"

Nurse: 'Gulp'

Me: "It's all good, bet you didn't see that one coming; now, let's figure out this shoulder.."

You've seen my brain, why not my bones? Left side, you can tell the clavicle is um...not where is supposed to be. Some do surgery, some don't. I told the orthopedic doc that I had to be in New Zealand with a backpack on and a fly rod in hand in 10 weeks. No surgery it is!

I had the chance to hit up a coffee shop with Sean Swarner as well. I'm always keen to share these connections for many reasons. As my buddy last night said "Someone or something is slapping you in the face with these opportunities and you can't slow down". Sean is a walking example of someone that has overcome a challenge and turned it into a positive outcome. For example: CancerClimber. What an awesome concept and I look forward to the new friendship and inspiration. Oh yeah, he climbed Everest as well...not too shabby.

New Zealand flights are booked! We're now 10 strong; 8 from Colorado, 1 from LA and another from Texas. We're officially Tramping for Treatment. This trip is gong to be off the chain....

Thanks for the Logo EK, you're the best.

A few months back, I made a connection with the Chair of Neurosurgery at The Mayo Clinic. Last week he replied with a personal letter with a 'straight to the point' (which I appreciate) response. All signs point to a low grade glioma in the hippocampus and at some point; we'll need to start attacking this Uncus. I was definitely overwhelmed by the reality of this letter, but as in the past and for the future; the support of friends and family immediately absorbed any down moments. Comfort has risen to the top of all emotions for this 'discovery phase' because I feel the due diligence has been done to ensure substantial opinions have been evaluated, plans of action have been agreed upon and discussed among multiple doctors and the analysis of the next scan on March 8th will lead us in the right direction. Wait....hippocampus. What the... That is a new word being passed around and I've validated that all docs are talking about the same portion of the brain; but I'm pretty sure I remember that name from health class and I definitely need that guy. So, now we know why we're being extra cautious. It's an important piece of this main processing unit of mine, but Dr. Strom mentioned that since this Uncus has been there for a long time; it's very possible that other portions of my brain have taken over and compensated for any issues that the tumor has caused. In my words: "If the Uncus takes out some of my hippo, the rest of my brain is going to have to step up to the plate!" Okay..we can do that.

Instead of asking you to break out the dictionary to search hippocampus, I'm hoping that you'll take some time out of your busy day for a very scientific explanation. If you have 20 mins to laugh until it hurts:

Big Man On Hippocampus - Family Guy (Full)

Awesome..

KM

Road goes on forever...

Early in the month I was blessed with a surprise visit of friends from Texas. The weekend was filled with a Robert Earl Keen show, cheesy photo opportunities on top of Breckenridge, our buddy Rooster heli-dropping from a chair lift, new friendships created and memories made. There are moments, now more than ever, where random occurrences collide and everything seems to make sense. I've seen Robert Earl Keen shows enough times for people to call me a groupie, but this show is one that will never be forgotten. As I raised my coke on the rocks to cheers the sea of Shiner Bocks; and realized that our Texas crew made up one side of the Spirit Tunnel (*see definition below) while the Colorado crew held down the other, Robert Earl played 'The Road Goes on Forever' and that is simply the point... This road will take whatever path it takes and it will go on after we're gone, so focus and efforts will be spent on ensuring the gift of life is enjoyed to fullest, relationships are cherished and cynicism is non-existent. This inner drive is consistently apparent and shared by those I love and the higher purpose that connects us all is to thank. Whether it's my personal situation or the tragedy of Haiti, these moments help.

*Spirit Tunnel: You know, when 20 of your best friends are at a concert at make a dance tunnel with their arms so strangers can bust a move through it; all in the hope to inspire others to have as much fun as we're having.

Robert Earl Keen


Punkus Uncus

As I mentioned, my friend has helped officially kick off my nutrition plan of attack. Her ability to research a situation and apply meaningful next steps without overwhelming the conversation is unmatched. The simple strategy is such: Changing diet and including supplements will strengthen the immune system resulting in destroying tumor growth and preventing the multiplying and forming of tumors. The plan will be extensive, but here is the quick low down:

Out: Acidic Food such as Sugar, Dairy, Caffeine, Alcohol, Bad Fats, Highly Processed Foods

Limited: Meat protein, Gluten

Increased: Alkaline Foods such as Fresh Vegetables, Fish, Garlic, Green Drinks, Bee Pollen, Anti-Inflammatory Foods (salmon, garlic, almonds, etc.), Organic Foods, Probiotic (Kombucha!), DHEA,

Nutrients: Vitamin A (blueberries), B (bananas, beans), C (broccoli, kale); Zinc (mushrooms, fish), Iron (whole grains, poultry), Selenium (brazil nuts, sesame seeds)

Wellness: Oxygen, Blood sugar management, Cognitive activation (dang), Daily Relaxation

Other: No plastic containers in microwave, no water bottles in freezer, no plastic wrap in microwave

Hmm...the last one reminds me of a conversation I had recently with a friend:

Me while looking at my plastic Nalgene bottle: Don't these things cause cancer?
Sara: Not sure, I think the warning was more about reproductive wellness, pregnancy, etc.
Me while chugging water from my plastic bottle: Yeah, maybe you're right; seems like so many things cause cancer these days
Sara while I chug water from my plastic bottle: Actually, now that you mention it; maybe it was about cancer... [que water being spit across the room]

My local Boulder family doctor, Dr. Charles Tawa continues to amaze me. Last week he offered to take me to lunch. We spent a few hours eating sushi, talking about his path (Lebanese/Egyptian descent), my health and the plans for the non-profit. He's an amazing man and I'm fortunate to have access to such a unique doctor. I can't imagine there are many doctors out there that would trade mountain climbing stories with their patients during their lunch break.

My yoga/meditation route has been started as well. I'm leaning on advice from Yoga Workshop in Boulder and the consultation of Richard Freeman. I've yet to meet him personally, however I spent a few minutes with his wife Mary last week. I was overwhelmed by her willingness to listen and her interest in helping. She's started my path by encouraging me to research the practice, begin the basics via a DVD she gave me and I'll be meeting with her and Richard in a few weeks to talk about a specific plan. Pretty cool... Wonder if I can wear my boots during the sessions? Prob not.

Thanks to an email from Dr. Lillehei to my new Neurologist, I have an appointment on Wednesday, Jan. 27th with Dr. Laura Strom. The goal is to be as proactive as possible in meeting with a Neurologist to find closure on diagnosing symptoms, rule out any other abnormalities or possibilities and clarify the need for medication. The ambiguity continues to be a thorn in my side so I'm looking forward to this appointment. I feel fortunate that Dr. Lillehei is along for the ride. He is a professor and a top neurosurgeon, but replies to my emails within a matter of days. A scarce but amazing quality in the medical field.


Non-Profit

The non-profit hasn't lost any steam. Last Saturday we had our second meeting. It began with an early morning hike up Breckenridge mountain and ended at 6pm with a draft organizational planning document (vision, mission, values, need, services, etc.) and an awesome brainstorming session around the website. We now have about 15 people involved, connections to funding, validation of the needs and continued passion for the service that we can provide. We'll be fine-tunning the vision this month and I'll share with all of you first. Did I tell you that Humor is a constant with this group and will definitely be something we hope to inspire? For example, so many great ideas regarding an Organization name are being tossed around that we haven't settled on one to this point. So.... we just call ourselves 'F'd Up Brains'. Sorry Mom, but that's kind of funny.

Breck Hike



We're 89 days from New Zealand and things are coming together. Flights will be booked today, funky camper vans will be selected and amazing hikes (Tramps) will be organized. Some media momentum has picked up as well. We're all beginning to see the signs point towards a common goal of building a special organization and embracing friendships and life/wellness during a journey together while creating awareness that will inspire others.

How could I end one of these posts without giving a shout-out to this amazing place that I'm lucky enough to call home. Something about mountains, access to an active lifestyle and connection with people that embrace those things make this place I call home a unique place. A January hike with amazing friends solidifies my passion for this place:

Top of Green Mountain


Love you all,

KM


Jeremy Dion Trio, "Just A Little More Time"

Jeremy | MySpace Music Videos

Talking Uncus

After taking a few weeks off from the blog world due to the holidays, 2010 has started off great with continued research and connections related to this Punkus Uncus challenge, persistent enthusiasm around starting a non-profit, an Alamo Bowl win by Texas Tech (don’t get me started on the Leach conversation), the Cowboys heading into the playoffs with momentum, blessings by Ullr that has dropped tons of snow in the mountains and an awesome New Years Eve celebration.

Uncus

My 1/7/10 neurology appointment was cancelled due to ever present medical field miscommunication. A late February date is set in stone for the reschedule, however we’re trying to get something scheduled within the next few weeks. While the next milestone date (dorky project talk) is March 8th with the Neurosurgeon, I’m anxious to meet with a Neurologist soon to hopefully track down some closure on the symptoms front. Even though we’re in somewhat of a ‘wait and see’ course, I’m focused on any and all proactive opportunities. The main channels of this focus are:

Medical Log and Files: I’m maintaining a document that tracks daily symptoms/changes, doctor visit dates and outcomes, treatment options, medical costs and research opportunities. All test results, medical files and doctor notes are scanned and readily available. These files will be sent to the Mayo Clinic early next week.

Modern Medicine: Obviously most of my time has been spent in this category over the last few months. MRI tests, bloodwork, medicine, neurologists, neurosurgeons, technology, etc. is a major focus area and will continue to be so moving forward. Hopefully innovation and education will progress this topic.

Wellness/Nutrition: I’m off the booze. While I don’t know when or if I’ll get back on this wagon, it has been a pretty easy drop for me. I’m convinced that I probably still dance the same as I did before (the worm will continue), but for some reason it feels a little less coordinated these days. Oh well… My good friend (check her out at Earth and Wellness Water) is putting me on a focused wellness plan soon. Until then and probably after, tons of brain food is in the diet (salmon, berries, almonds, etc.).

Yoga/Meditation: (que Boulder hippy comment). This is relatively new for me, but I can’t imagine a better combo: Brain diagnosis and Mind wellness treatment. I’m a rookie on this front, so any suggestions, criticisms and punch lines are welcome.

Acupuncture/Easter Medicine: Sure, why not. Something that has been proven to work over the last thousands of years must be relative. Let ya know how it goes.

These are the main categories of my approach, but I’m sure there is much more out there and I’ll continue the research. On that topic, many have asked what I’m currently reading. I’m assuming this is out of pure curiosity or it’s a trick question to see if I’m on the path to enlightenment or the path to maxing out my credit cards and going to Vegas. (Is both so bad?)

Two books on my nightstand right now:

Mere Christianity - CS Lewis. This was my Granddad’s book and has been (I’m ¼ of the way through it) somewhat of an intellect’s view into Christianity. Realism vs Religion has been on my mind for years (maybe it’s the tumor), so it’s a great read for me.

Anti-cancer - A New way of life - David Servan-Schreiber. This book was recommended to me last week. After undergoing chemotherapy and surgery for brain cancer, Servan-Schreiber, a clinical professor of psychiatry explains his approach. Face value looks like we have similar views, so I’m excited to read it.

Non-Profit

I continue to meet people connected to this vision. Never having taken this path before, I can’t say exactly how unique this experience has been thus far; but I’m amazed by the constant interest, energy and support. Our next meeting is on Jan. 16h and we hope to have a document put together by the end of the month explaining our vision, target population, service offering and core values. Part of ‘paying attention’ has produced tons of relevant twitter quotes; here’s a recent one:

“There is a difference between interest and commitment. When you are interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstances permit....When you are committed to something you accept no excuses only results!!”

There is no doubt in my busted mind that we’re building something great and I look forward to sharing results with everyone soon.

As we finalize plans for New Zealand, opportunity seems to surface again. Part of the non-profit talk has been focused around Adventure Therapy. Leveraging people connection to enjoy life through an active and adventurous lifestyle to prevent or treat disease. That said, walk the talk; right! New Zealand here we come...

Here’s the letter we’re sending out for awareness (and hopefully some free skydiving!). Click Here. Since it is making its way around, I wanted all of you to see it first. We've sent this out to a few media organizations for exposure, but please don't read this as a request to any of my friends and family.

Here we go: Tramping For Treatment

I’ll leave you with an interesting conversation that I had with this Punkus Uncus of mine while hiking Peak 8 in Breckenridge one morning.

Me: ‘Dang I’m tired’

Uncus: ‘I knew I could slow you down’

Me: ‘Kidding me Uncus? I’m just out of shape’

Uncus: ‘Yeah, but you know that I’m on your mind’

Me: ‘First of all, grow up; that was a horrible pun. Secondly, no matter what; you’ve got nothing compared to the love and support of my friends and family and you’re fighting a losing battle…(dramatic pause)……buddy’.

Yep, that happened. Yep, I’m probably legally categorized as crazy because of that conversation. But….at least I’m winning the argument.

Here is to a great 2010 ahead,

KM

Boardjoring

Merry Christmas -

Ah hell (can I say that on Christmas?), maybe I should say Happy Holidays. I've actually never been concerned about that debate; mostly due to my friends celebrating everything from Christmas to Vesak. Regardless, I'm down for any celebration that brings family and friends together and gets people thinking about a bigger purpose/connection. Anyways....back to tumors and stuff.

While remaining truthful that some days are better than others and cognizant of the fact that I still haven't reached full potential of living every day to the fullest; there are moments, hours, events that maintain my conviction that no matter what; just maybe the simplicity of acting on an idea that pops in your head is the true pendulum of life. One direction takes you to the couch while the other takes you outside for quick Boardjoring session.....

Skijoring ('skē-jȯr-iŋ) is a winter sport where a person on skis is pulled by a horse, a dog (or dogs) or a motor vehicle. It is derived from the Norwegian word skikjøring meaning ski driving.

Boardjoring is a made up word derived from Skijoring where a Colorado guy addicted to board sports has the bright idea to remove the fins from his wakeboard and ask his Dad to pull him behind a horse while his Mom films. It may also be derived from the Texan phrase "pull me behind the horse ya'll".

No horses were harmed during the making of this video and you definitely SHOULD try this at home.



Trust me....it was a good time and a heck of a ride.

Since this blog is deemed to be good bathroom reading as well, I'll give you a quick read before you light the match (gross): I've always wondered how to label my view of "fate with a side of free will". Obviously; someone, somewhere put a name to it and came up with Compatibilism, also known as "soft determinism"; a theory which holds that free will and determinism are compatible. Gotfried Wilhelm Lebniz was a famous Compatibilist and did some pretty cool stuff back in the day. My dumbed down version is basically just "pull the trigger", but I guess Compatibilism sounds a bit more prestige.

The week preceding this Boardjoring session was full of random mishaps (locked the keys in my car and my snowboard flew off my roof rack while going down the highway, now worries I blamed it on the tumor), more conversations with friends and family that hit at home now that I'm "paying attention" and an awesome pre-Christmas get away to Beaver Creek full of riding, rock band dominating and general Colorado family fun. Love my CBears.

I also had the pleasure of taking a few Breck runs with a great guy that founded an amazing organization. Brad Ludden (www.firstdescents.org) was generous enough to spend some time with me on the slopes and answer all of my questions about the non-profit world. For the purpose if introducing you to both amazing orgs and to better explain what we're working on; you can basically take a little www.firstdescents.org, mix in some www.imermanangels.org, substitute some Brain challenges for Cancer and there you have it; our idea of how we can help. Tons more to work out and the idea is still not baked, but as I've said; I'm committed to seeing this through and amazed by how many intelligent and generous friends have offered to help build it.

I had a good call from the doc last week as well that 1) validated I have a spine and 2)shows no signs of issues with that spine. He's verified my appointment with a Neurologist in January which should provide tons more info and scheduled my next MRI for early March. When asked if I could wait until May for the MRI due to my New Zealand trip in April; he sounded confident that it would probably be fine, but would prefer if the images were taken in March. Nothing like a quick trip to the Neurosurgeon before heading out of the country!

I've had a few questions about the current official diagnosis as well, so here's the quick low down:

Abnormal left medial temporal lobe. Diagnosed as a tumor of unspecified nature, most likely a Dysembryoplastic Neuroepithelial Tumor, Pilocytic Astrocytoma, Oligodendroglioma or Ganglioglioma. Yada yada yada..you get the point. Some little guy is growing in my head and we're getting closer to giving him a name. As soon as things are a bit more clear, this Punkus Uncus will be dominated.

Have I mentioned that sunsets seem to a bit more awesome these days as well? I know..I know..how cliche, guy gets a brain tumor and starts writing about sunsets. But seriously, check it out:





Saweet.







Whether it's Boardjoring or an opportunity to help others; all I can say is that I'll be 'pulling the trigger' and leaning on 'Compatibilism' now more than ever.

Love,

KM